I first accepted the Lord Jesus Christ when I was very young. At that time, it was a little old country church named Hopewell Baptist Church. I had been raised Baptist in the small towns of Kentucky and even though (like most of us in our young, and we know it all years) I said my prayers every night (well almost every night). I loved Jesus as much as I thought I could love Him. I was meek. I had a big heart and I wore it on my sleeve. I would give my last dime to someone if I thought they needed it worse than me. I still do this even to this day. It drives my husband nuts!
I would not say a ill word to anyone unless I thought someone was being treated unfairly or mistreated. I just wanted to help in any way I could. (Helping Others is my Calling. My Devine Gift From God) I followed other people’s direction for my life. I never had an opinion of my own. I was gullible and had no desire to learn. The best quality I had at that time was my heart. I always tried so very diligently to find ways to fix everyone’s problems. No matter how great or how small, I felt I had to find the solution to fix it. I remember worrying about everything! You know It had been my choice (not God’s choice) to take on everyone else’s burdens, but I sincerely felt It was a good and noble quality to have! However, it was only a wonderful quality to have when you have enough knowledge and faith in the Lord to lay what you can not handle, fix or solve at the cross for Jesus.
Looking back on it now, I think I had the mentality that if everyone around me was happy, then I could be happy. Then there were the very difficult times in my life that I had thought that I knew best by taking matters into my own hands and making a huge mess of it all! Mistake after mistake. These times of defeat were the only times that I would pull Jesus off the top shelf. I would wipe off all the dust and cobwebs and beg HIM to have mercy on me! To please find favor in me and forgive me for my disobedience of not seeking his will first. I expected him to fix this horrible messes I had created by not seeking HIS will first.
Want to know the most wonderful and exciting news about all of this havoc I had created for myself? Jesus was always there to restore! HE still loved me UNCONDITIONAL. Don’t misunderstand, I paid the consequences for my disobedience and I got spanked. Really hard spankings at times, but I learned and I have never forgotten those spankings. What an AWESOME, FORGIVING, LOVING father we have! Amen.
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My Jesus Blog 